Hey True Girl Dads!
It's about time we offered some tips to you! We imagine you have just a few questions about your tween daughter, like “Is she really from another planet?” In this blog series, Bob Gresh, author of 8 Great Dates for Dads and Daughters will answer some of the most frequently asked questions we receive from Dads.
How can I enforce modesty in a way my daughter respects?
It’s likely you’ve seen that dad who wore super short shorts out in public to “teach his daughter modesty.” Funny for the rest of us. "Way to go Dad," right? I don’t know about the daughter though. Something was needed to prove his point, but I think intentional public humiliation is not always the best. Point being, encouraging our daughters to be modest can be a great undertaking.
Have you heard this statement? “But DAD… Everyone else is wearing it.” Don’t underestimate your influence when it comes to modesty. Your approval is extremely important to your daughter. Before you resort to the short-shorts method, go shopping with her. I realize this might not be your favorite activity, but the girls seem to respect their fathers more when we are willing to show interest and have an input in the selection process, knowing modest clothing can be very hard to find.
Have her try on the clothes and model for you. Affirm her natural beauty and be cautious in how you address “inappropriate” clothes. Your language and your tone matter to her confidence. Yes, I know you’re in a mall. In a girl’s store. Shopping. Please be patient and tender toward her. Point out the positive, "I really like the color of that shirt - It brings out your eyes. Maybe we can find one in another size." A little affirmation before your "It's too tight/short/see through..." will help her be more responsive to your opinion.
Along with overseeing your daughter’s closet and shopping trips, it’s important we lead them to the Word to show them God’s perspective on true beauty and modesty as well as the temptations and struggles of men. Without clear standards reinforced by scripture, modesty will become simply rules she resents rather than a lifestyle she embraces.