Bob and Dannah Gresh
Founders of True Girl
and Born to Be Brave

Dr. Juli Slattery
Best-selling author &
Founder of Authentic
Intimacy

Karen Potter
Church & Ministry
Outreach Director for
Covenant Eyes

Rob Stoddard
Church Consultant
with Covenant Eyes

Thanks for joining with us for another True Girl and Born to Be Brave parent’s workshop. Here is your Workshop Response Kit with all of the digital resources we mentioned—and a few more—at your fingertips.

For years, the purveyors of pornography and erotica have been targeting tweens and teens with the intent of making them into consistent consumers. The $13 billion sex entertainment industry is succeeding in their efforts to convert a generation. Research compiled by Covenant Eyes, reveals the following alarming statistics.

  • 93% of boys and 62% of girls will be exposed to pornography before their 18th birthday.
  • The average child is first exposed at a staggering 11 years of age.
  • 57% of teens don’t believe that pornography is bad for society.
  • 57% percent of teens view pornography monthly.

These statistics are serious, and you, as a parent, have a tough fight ahead of you, but True Girl and Born to Be Brave are here with you in the battle. We want to help you establish a firm victory for your children. The stakes are high and may even elicit a bit of fear. But, as God’s Word reminds us:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 TIM 1:7

Not only will you hear their best advice, tools, and biblically-based wisdom for building a porn-free home, but you’ll also learn the RIGHT WAY TO COMMUNICATE should your child fall prey to heavy recruitment for the life long customers the porn industry is seeking.

Plus, you’ll be able to interact with these leading experts during a live question and answer time.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Porn is a parent’s workshop that empowers you to protect your children form the devastating effects of pornography and erotica.

We’ve also gathered these Workshop Response Kit — a collection of trusted resources in one place. First, we encourage you to explore the three important steps to preparing to talk to your kids about porn and preventing exposure. Then, be sure to peruse our curated collection of FREE online blogs, podcasts, and other resources to help you make your home safe

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STEP ONE:
Heal from your own past so you can help your kids walk in freedom!

Do not pass “go!” Do not collect $200! Go straight to the work of our own freedom. (This is akin to putting your own oxygen mask on FIRST!) Nothing will stop you from talking to your kids about sex and porn more than shame from your own mistakes and battles in those areas. In a six-session podcast, Dannah Gresh explains six critical steps to biblical healing. Get the freedom you need to guide your children so they don’t experience the same pain you have.

This series is available as a free gift thanks to the generous donations of friends like you.

Another helpful resource for men who need helping recovering from pornography is the Conquer Series. The video in the workshop is from this curriculum.

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STEP TWO:
Get equipped to have a biblically-based on-going conversation about sex with these proven-tools from Bob & Dannah Gresh & Dr. Juli Slattery

Be prepared, not scared!

Learn why one conversation about sex with your kids is not enough in this free podcast entitled “Sorry Mom & Dad, the sex talk doesn’t work!”

 

Dr. Juli Slattery, Best-selling author & Founder of Authentic Intimacy

Learn more about Dr. Juli Slattery and get copies of the books mentioned on this workshop including Rethink- ing Sexuality at her website: Authentic Intimacy.
Juli also offers a 12-module video course equipping Christian leaders with an overview of how to engage in ministry and personal relationships using the Sexual Discipleship frame- work. We highly recommend it for every parent to have a biblical framework upon which to hang every conver- sation about sex, including talks about porn and erotica.

Learn how to use sexual discipleship to talk to your children here!

For a chilling, but must-read account of a mom who fell prey to pornography at the age of nine, read this short piece “Why Porn & Erotica Are Spiritual” co-written by Dannah Gresh and Dr. Juli Slattery. It’s a sample of the book they wrote together entitled Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longing of a Woman’s Heart

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STEP THREE:
Manage Your Family’s Media

You can use any software you like. There are a lot of options, but you must pro-actively protect your children and teach them accountability when they’re using technology. We highly recommend (and personally use) Covenant Eyes, the pioneer in Internet safety.

For a free 30-day trial, use the code TRUEGIRL at checkout

Frequently Asked Questions

What's the earliest age that I can/should begin to talk to my children about pornography?

This might be shocking, but it's wise to begin when they are pre-schoolers. As soon as you have a device in their hands and are not with them every single moment—and that seems to be earlier and earlier these days—they need a vocabulary to tell you when they've seen a "bad picture." During the workshop, we mentioned Good Pictures, Bad Pictures which is a book that gives young children an awareness that there is danger on the Internet and a vocabulary to talk to you about it. (Think of this kind of like the conversation on "stranger danger" you start with them very early in their life. It will not rob them of their innocence but will protect it when the conversation is presented carefully.) This book was originally created for children aged 7-11 and there is a newer version of it for children aged 3-6. We, at True Girl and Born to Be Brave believe every home should have these books! They get our strong endorsement.

When is my child old enough to navigate social media without risk of porn exposure?

The answer is: never. If they are on the Internet they will likely encounter porn at some level. This is especially true on social media which has become a favorite spot for the creators of porn to sell their goods and invite life-time customers to their menu of offerings. It’s hard enough for an adult to deal with the temptations to click on an image. Imagine how much harder it is for tweens who don’t yet possess the emotional maturity to cope with the digital world.

Social media platforms like Snapchat and Instagram have a minimum age requirement of 13 years old.  Users who enter a date of birth under 13 can’t set up an account.  However, this small detail is easily sidestepped simply by entering a fake year of birth.  Well-meaning moms have helped their kids create accounts so their kids wouldn’t be left out of the loop with friends.  Before you are tempted to do that, please consider this: legally your child must be 13 or older to have a social media account.  But just because your child turns 13 doesn’t mean they’re ready.  You must consider their emotional and spiritual maturity, not just their age.  Our resident digital expert, Arlene Pellicane offers four questions that will help you determine your child's readiness.

How can I protect my children from sexual content that comes through a smartphone?

Let us put this into a word-picture. Giving your child a smartphone without considering how you can lock down sexual content, is like dropping them off in the strip district of a major urban center at midnight. You would never do that, so why would you give them a phone without putting some proverbial blindfolds on them?

 

It's not just social media, but all apps that can be gateways to porn. In this blog from our friends at Protect Young Minds, they shed light on some of the not-so-obvious ways that pornography seeps its way onto smartphones. They call it hidden porn. The article provides practical tools that any parent can implement today to ensure a more porn-proof smartphone experience.

What do I need to know about social media?

Social media has been integrated into our everyday life, hereby filling and holding an integral aspect of the entirety of a modern human social composition. Children, on the other hand, use the top social media apps for fun and end up spending more than the required time.   Thus, you need some parental control options to curb their addiction to these apps at the onset itself. Here's a guide to setting parental controls on social media.

Is it OK for my tween/middle schooler be using social media?

Nope.

It's not even legal for most of them. The COPPA act prohibits social media for anyone under the age of 13. Be aware. (Do you really want your child's online experience to begin with learning to lie?)

Here are Five Reasons Why Social Media is Not Smart For Middle School Kids.

What do I need to know about OnlyFans, the app that rose to mainstream use during the pandemic?

OnlyFans was largely used by sex workers until March 2020. A New York Times article in 2019 claimed that the platform “changed sex work forever” and there have been reports of some adult entertainers making six-figure sums each year. The pandemic became an opportune time for the UK-based creators to make the app more attractive to younger users. And not just to see sexual content, but to create it! How would they possibly do that, you might ask? Well, our "selfie"-culture has already lured most girls into an obsession about how beautiful and sexy they look in any given picture that they post. (The average girl takes 20 photos before she feels one is good enough and then filters it to perfection.) It's one small step toward using those photos to make money.

Promotions like this one found on TikTok (and other social mediums) invite teen girls to cash in. The app employs "groomers" to help the "influencers" make more money. 'nuff said!

OnlyFans is training teens to make money by taking sexy photos and videos. Their grooming online sex workers. When you talk to your child about this app, you need to include a conversation about child sex-trafficking and grooming. 

This blog contains five things you can do to keep your kids safe from OnlyFans.

What's coming up next for my tween and teen?

Join Dannah & Staci this fall to for online Bible studies that teach your daughters to walk in Truth

Enjoy these six-week online Bible studies with your tween or teen daughter to help her rip up the roots of lies she believes and replace them with God’s Truth.

Join us for Lies Girls Believe for your tween and Lies Young Women Believe for your teen.