WINNING THE
SCREEN TIME BATTLE
WITHOUT LOSING YOUR KIDS

WORKSHOP RESPONSE KIT:

Thanks for joining Bob and Dannah Gresh for the True Girl and Born to Be Brave parent's workshop on how to win the screen time battle without losing your kids. We had a wonderful evening with you as we opened God's Word together and gleaned wisdom from Dr. Gary Chapman, and Arlene Pellicane who authored Screen Kids. Below you’ll find the Workshop Response Kit with all of the digital resources we mentioned—and a few more—at your fingertips. We hope you'll take time to follow through on what you learned or were reminded of concerning screens! Let's use them rather than letting them use us. And let's teach our kids to do the same.

If you missed the livestream, joined late, or want to watch again, you can view the recording here.



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As promised, we've assembled a comprehensive Workshop Response Kit—a collection of trusted resources in one place. Then, be sure to peruse our curated collection of FREE online blogs, podcasts, and other resources to help you make your home safe.

How much is too much?

Register for WINNING THE SCREEN TIME BATTLE WITHOUT LOSING YOUR KIDS

November 5th 8-9:30 pm ET

 

Arming yourself for the Screen Time Battle will help you keep peace in your home!

We want you to possess the information and skills you need to guide your children in their use of technology. Thankfully, our guests Dr. Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane literally wrote the book on the subject! We strongly encourage you to follow the links below to get your copy of Screen Kids for parents or grandparents. Here’s what the book will do for you:

  • Empower you to make positive changes in your children’s lives on line
  • Help you rescue your home from overdependence on screens
  • Equip you with up-to-date information to confront issue technology creates in the home
register now
 

Get Strategic About Your Own Screen Time

 

To quote a popular phrase: Actions speak louder than words! Good behavior is something that our children need to see us model —in all things— and technology usage is no exception. We can help you do that. A great place to start is at the links below.

Why Every Mother Should Have A Written Social Media Policy (blog)—a thoughtful piece by Dannah Gresh

Why Putting Down Your Phone May Help You Live Longer

The Social Dilemma (documentary)—watch this eye-opening documentary with your teens!

 

Parenting Requires Continuing Education!

Just when we think we’ve gotten a handle on things, along comes an upgraded device or a new app. If we’re not diligent, we’ll find the information we are using is outdated. That could lead to trouble.

We heard from Arlene Pellicane during the workshop. She’d like to help you get up to speed and stay up-to-date with your technology plan. She’s done a lot of homework for you; Let her be your guide! We highly recommend this course developed in partnership with Truth Becomes Her.

Technology & Your Girl (video course)

For the dads in the audience, here’s something put together just for you! This Dad Tired podcast would be a great step toward leading your family with a technology plan that works!

Interested in doing a 7 day screen reset challenge? Listen to Arlene's Happy Home podcast.

Join Dr. Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane for their upcoming web event: Winning the Screen War

Join Dr. Gary Chapman and Arlene Pellicane for their upcoming web event:
Winning the Screen War

FAQs

When dealing with complicated issues like this there are bound to be questions. Here are some we’ve heard. Click on any of the questions below to view our panelists’ responses!

screentime

A:

Any time you disagree with someone, there are three possible ways to resolve it after you’ve both talked about it and had a chance to explain your reasoning. 

  1. I’ll meet you on your side. Picture a straight line with a husband on one side and his wife on the other. Meeting one person on their side means that one of you actually goes all the way to the other side and says, “After I’ve listened to your reasoning, I think I’ll go with your perspective.” 
  2. I’ll meet you in the middle. You come to a compromise. If your spouse thinks six hours of screen time is fine, but you want only two hours, you settle on four hours of screen time. 
  3. I’ll meet you later. This is when it’s pretty obvious that you aren’t going to agree in one sitting. You agree to disagree for the moment, get a good night’s sleep, and pick it up again the following week. You agree to disagree instead of preaching a sermon and ending the evening angry. 

Perhaps one of you thinks your daughter is ready for a phone at age 12, but the other parent thinks 15 would be a better age.

Ask your spouse, “Why do you think she’s ready at twelve?”

Really listen and try to understand the other person’s perspective. You might come to a middle ground and decide to evaluate the situation again when your daughter’s 14.

You’re constantly fishing for one of these three solutions, no matter the topic of conflict.

A:

It's a myth that a middle or high schooler has to have a phone to survive socially or academically. Social skills like listening, looking someone in the eye, and asking caring questions aren't aided by a phone—they’re hindered!  Posting photos and commenting on them on the phone doesn't help your child develop meaningful relationships. 

My (Arlene) daughter, a freshman in high school, uses my phone to text her friends and meets most weekends with her friends to hang out in the park. My son, a high school junior, uses a free Google voice number to text his friends and keep up on his extracurricular activities.

Academically speaking, phones are more of a distraction in the classroom than a help.

A:

Begin by giving grandma and grandpa the benefit of the doubt. Grandma had good intentions and thought she was buying something your child would really like. You can talk with your child and say something like, “That was very considerate of Grandma to buy you a phone. We’re going to have specific guidelines for how you can use it.” 

You may want to limit the phone to be used only at home to call Grandma. If you feel your child isn’t ready for a phone, however, you may respectfully talk to Grandma and share a few of the reasons you believe the phone will be a detriment. You may want to recommend Arlene Pellicane and Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, Grandparenting Screen Kids. You can share what you’ve learned about the impact of too many screens on a child’s brain. Grandma may want to return it or save it for a later time.

If your child’s in middle school or older, you can establish rules before leaving the phone with your child. These rules might be things like charging the phone overnight outside of the bedroom and a limit of 15 minutes per day after school. 

A:

You can’t impose your rules on another family or your child’s friends. But you can certainly have helpful conversations to keep pornography, bullying, and inappropriate images and comments from harming your child. Here are a few guidelines you can use when making decisions about screen times and friends: 

  1. Differentiate the big things from the small things. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a week from now?” If your child is viewing porn at someone’s house, the answer will be yes. But, if he’s occasionally playing thirty minutes of non-violent video games, the answer’s probably no. 
  2. Get to know your child’s friends. Take the time to befriend the parents of your children’s friends. You need to be able to ask, “What types of television shows and video games do you allow in your home? Do you know what the girls are watching?” Don’t think it’s rude to ask; it’s your responsibility, as a parent, to create safe boundaries for your child. Even when she’s away from you. 
  3. Make yourself the fall guy. You might fear appearing judgmental and superior if you ask too many questions. Just tell the other parent that you’re overprotective. It’s more gracious to criticize yourself (“Forgive me if I’m such a high-maintenance parent”) than to implicate the more lenient parent.

Teach your child to look away. Tell your children if a person shows them something they aren’t comfortable with to look away. You can choose where your eyes go. Turning away from lewd, inappropriate, mean, or sexual images will help your child mature as he learns to guard his heart from evil.

Bob and Dannah Gresh are the founders of True Girl, Born to Be Brave, and Grace Prep High School with the goal of helping families grow closer to each other and closer to Jesus and building an intelligent faith. Dannah has authored over 20 books that have been translated into 12 languages, including And the Bride Wore White, and Lies Girls Believe, and is considered one of the leading experts on the subjects of sexual theology and parenting tweens and teens. The Greshes' resources have equipped over one million parents and leaders as they seek to raise their children in confidence and truth. Bob and Dannah live in State College, Pennsylvania.

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