By Dannah Gresh, founder of True Girl
Well, shaving can be a "hairy" topic for moms and their girls. When is the right time to allow her to start shaving? Is she ready? Well, let's start with remembering your first shave! A national survey of women on posed this question:
“The first time you shaved, did you ask
permission or did you sneak it?”
The results were hilariously telling for us as moms, as we consider how to help our daughter through her first shave.
When it came to lathering up her lovely legs and gliding the razor up them, 39% of women said they “sneaked it.” Another 37% said they asked for permission. So, if your daughter is even asking you for permission to shave - give her a hug! But if she didn't, don't consider it that unusual, but you might want to save her a few nicks by stepping into the conversation positively.
The truth is, there's really no right age to allow your daughter to start shaving. Each girl matures through puberty at her own pace. Girls as young as nine have body hair and are beginning their periods; other girls don't reach that place in puberty until they're thirteen! Establishing a set age simply doesn't work as each girl will experience body hair at different times and in different ways.
If your daughter has already asked you to begin shaving, it's time. Unwanted hair under her arms or on her legs may make her feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. Sit down and talk with her. Hear her out.
- Does her leg hair/underarm hair bother her? Why does she want to remove it? Listen and allow her to lead the conversation and express how she feels.
- Explain to her the commitment of hair removal. Once you start, you don't really stop. Ask her if she feels responsible enough to add shaving to her regular bathing routine. Remind her that she will need to budget more time to take showers or bathing if she begins shaving.
- Do you think she's capable of handling a razor? Does she think she can do it? Share with her a story of one of your shaves-gone-wrongs. (We all have them!) Explain that when done incorrectly or in a hurry, it can cause painful cuts that bleed and can get infected.
If she understands the responsibility and is up for the challenge, make it a date! You know I love to create mother-daughter activities that are helping your daughter grow closer to Jesus (and you!) These two ideas are great fun and also provide an opportunity to share a God-focused conversation!
OPTION 1 Spa Night: [For the girlie girl who likes cozy nights at home.] No shopping, driving, or advance planning required! This one can be done on the fly so it's great if the conversation pops up and you feel the need to teach her how to shave in the here and now! Pop on some fuzzy robes and pj's, turn on your favorite relaxing tunes, light some candles and sit on the edge of the tub together. Teach her to shave with the four tips below. Afterwards, give each other mani's to go with those smooth legs while you have your conversation time (below).
OPTION 2 A Smooth(ie) Night: [For the tomboy or adventuresome girl.] Hit the town together and allow her to pick out a razor and shaving cream. Stop for smoothies on the way home and have your conversation time (below). When you get home, set up her new supplies in the bathroom and give her a shaving lesson that makes her legs smoother than that evening snack you just shared. There are four tips below to get the conversation started.
CONVERSATION TIME FOR BOTH OPTIONS: Every opportunity to teach, is an opportunity to teach God's word. Direct the conversation to what TRULY makes your daughter's feet and those smooth legs beautiful. Read this:
How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, “Your God reigns.”
Isaiah 52:7
Tell her that no matter how smooth her legs are or how polished her toes, nothing makes her feet more beautiful than being the mode of transportation that takes the love and good news of Jesus Christ to people who need Him. Close your night by praying for her feet to carry the gospel.
Four Shaving Lesson Tips
You should both get a good clean shave during this mother/daughter date. Take each of these steps in order and you model it for her before she gives is a try. Share the experience and watch your relationship deepen and her confidence soar.
1.) Clean the surface of the legs. This will help her to avoid getting infection should she nick herself, and it also softens the hair shafts so it's less uncomfortable and more successful.
2.) Apply shaving gel or cream and lather up your legs. Even if you have mastered the art of the soap-only shave, start your daughter with cream or gel as it will help her avoid nicks and also give her a visual line of where she's already shaved. It takes some learning to get good at it.
3.) Gently glide the razor up the leg beginning at the ankle, moving up and over the knee. Be sure to tell her to apply less pressure on her ankle, knee and the front of her shin where the bones create a higher risk of nicks and cuts.
4.) Rinse thoroughly. Failing to rinse the legs can result in dry skin, so be sure to tell her to use water to get all that lather off before she dries her legs.
Don't miss the opportunity to bond with your daughter over a can of shaving cream! As time goes on, there will be fewer and fewer things she's going to consider so important and personal, and yet feel comfortable talking with you about. Savor it.
