How Do I Talk to My Daughter About GOALS?

By heather

share this article

Do you know what goals your daughter has? Does she have any?

We are raising our daughters to be God-crazy movers and shakers for the Kingdom of Heaven. By encouraging them to have and pursue goals, we are teaching them to seek and pursue God's will for their life as well as motivating them to work for a purpose that is greater than themselves.

Talk to your daughter about what her goals are and point her to the Bible. Encourage her to spend time finding a verse or chapter to anchor her goal in. When we apply Scripture to our goals, we learn to align our pursuits with God's will for us. Our goals shouldn't contradict the Word or character of Jesus Christ.

It's important to teach your daughter how to establish healthy goals. There is a major difference between saying, “I want to have a million dollars one day” and saying, “I want to work and save X amount of dollars so that I can build a savings account to one day provide for my family.”

Your daughter comes from the generation that's taught "everyone's a winner." Many young people believe they're entitled to certain honors, awards and amenities. But, what happens when she doesn't win? When she doesn't get the grade, the scholarship, the acceptance letter? What happens when she has to work toward it? All too frequently, young people are turning from their faith when a perceived failure comes. While she is in your home, teach your daughter how to walk through the "No's" of life, trusting in God's greater plan for her. Instruct your daughter to include the Lord in her goal planning, to seek his guidance and be submissive to his will.

So, make it a date! Grab your daughter and a piece of paper and sit down to discuss these Biblical keys to Goal setting and compose her list of 50 Lifetime Goals.

1. Alignment  - Consider if the goal is in line with the Bible and the character of God. Is it something Jesus would do? "I want to become a rock star to become rich and famous." would that align? Probably not. Help her turn that goal around. "I want to use my musical gifts to entertain others." Do we have selfish motives or are we operating with a healthy heart?

2. Faith - We serve a big God who can accomplish big things. Encourage her to dream big and reach tall goals. Luke 1:37 says, "Nothing is impossible with God." Don't allow your daughter to talk herself out of a goal simply because it's too hard. Setting big goals and allowing God to pursue them with her will deepen and strengthen not only her faith but the faith of those watching her "do the impossible."

3. Commitment - Goals require hard work. Consider Moses' charge to lead the people of Israel from the bondage of Egypt to the blessing of the Promised Land. It was a long process. It took time. It was hard. Imagine if Moses gave up! It's likely that while pursuing some of her goals, your daughter will face setbacks and disappointments. Encourage her to not give up.

4. Planning - Has your daughter given the goal the appropriate forethought? If she is in pursuit of graduating with a certain GPA or attending a certain university, is she ready and willing to sacrifice some social time to study? If she wants to participate in a marathon, is she willing to commit to the months of training involved? Before writing down goals just to list them, encourage her to consider the cost and think about what she will need to do to reach that goal.

5. Humility - This might be the most important key to goal planning. We must be willing to submit our desires to God. The Lord's will, plan and purpose will always trump our own. We never want to be in a position of demanding that things work out our way or that all of our goals are accomplished exactly how we think they should. When our attitude is humble, God is able to give us grace. (Proverbs 3:34) We serve an Ephesians 3:20 God who wants to exceed our wildest dreams. We must position ourselves to let him.

Turn on some praise music and dream with your daughter. Seek her heart - help her identify her passions. Have her write out each goal. Together spend the next few nights (or weeks) looking for scriptures to tie to her goals. Here are a few ideas to help her get rolling:

  • Ride a Horse. "The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made." Psalm 145:9
  • Graduate high school with Honors. "But as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in all earnestness…" 2 Corinthians 8:7
  • Compete in the state band competition. "Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!" Psalm 95:1
  • Lead at least one person to the Lord. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." Matthew 28:19-20a
  • Cook and serve a full dinner by myself. "She provides food for her family." Proverbs 31:15b

Remember these are her goals - not your goals for her! As you share in her excitement and dreams, you will be even better equipped to pray for her and her future endeavors. Print up her chart and hang it in your home where she can see it often. When she accomplishes a task, celebrate as you check it off!

This activity was one of the greatest things my mother and I did together. It has given us talking points for years. When I've become discouraged, my mom has pulled out my list of "Lifetime Goals" and re-read what I wrote, reminding me that I can't give up. As a result of dreaming and working toward a goal with God, I've grown in confidence as well as faith. I have come to learn that I really "can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13.

Dream about her future with her. Show her reasons to believe the promise of Jeremiah 29:11. His plans for us are GOOD. To give us a FUTURE and a HOPE.


P.S. If one of her goals is to spend more time in God's Word, check out our online Bible study with Dannah Gresh and Chizzy Anderson coming up in March!



New blogs posted regularly!

Sign up to be notified when new blogs are available!

About the Author

Dannah Gresh Neque porro quisquam est, qui dolorem ipsum quia dolor sit amet, consectetur, adipisci velit, sed quia non numquam eius modi tempora incidunt ut labore et dolore magnam aliquam quaerat voluptatem. Ut enim ad minima veniam.

Read Next

New blogs posted regularly!

Sign up and you'll be the first to know.