By Kindra Lawson, True Girl Intern
Is your daughter turning into the girl who cried wolf? You know, the children’s story about the kid who cried out Wolf! Wolf! There's a wolf attacking the sheep! just so they could laugh at the townspeople who came running to help? Yeah, that story didn’t end well.
Maybe your daughter has been telling some “tall tales” recently and you have no idea why. Or maybe you know why your daughter hasn’t been telling the truth, but aren’t sure how to nip her new lying habit in the bud!
If that’s you, then you’ve come to the right place… because today we’re talking about how YOU can talk to your daughter about lying.
Let’s get to it!
What does the Bible Say About Lying?
When we have questions and are in need of wisdom, God’s Word is always the first place we should start.
Hebrews 13:18 says:
“Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do.”
As Christians, we should do our best to live with a clear conscience by showing honor in all that we do and praying for others as they strive to do the same. How does this apply to our tongues? I’m glad you asked!
Living honorably includes the words that we speak.
If we want to live with a clear conscience we have to tell the truth. Plus Matthew 12:36 tells us we will be held accountable for every word that we say! Kinda intimidating, right?
Thankfully, God’s Word also gives us a way to control our tongues and that is by controlling what we allow into our hearts! What goes into our hearts eventually comes out of our mouths. If we are putting good things into our hearts and minds, our tongues will follow.
“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” (Luke 6:45)
This means that if you want to talk to your daughter about lying, you first need to talk to her about her heart. Likely if she has fallen into the habit of lying, there is a larger reason behind it!
What’s In Her Heart?
While only God knows for sure what is going on in your little girl’s heart, thinking through a few of these questions may help you identify the problem:
- To start off, what are you teaching her through your actions? Do you often bend the truth or tell “white lies” to avoid conflict? If so, she may be following your example and taking it a step further by flat out lying to you and to others.
- What is she putting into her heart? - What kind of TV, music, and social media is she consuming? Is she reading her Bible and spraying regularly? Lying may be an indication that she is filling her heart with lies instead of the Truth of God’s Word!
- Is she lying to get your attention? - How much quality time do you spend with your daughter every day? If you haven’t been spending much time together recently, then her lies may be a way to get your attention. If kids can’t get positive attention from their parents, they often settle for negative attention and begin acting out.
- Is she lying out of fear of disappointing others? - Could it be that your daughter feels pressured to be perfect? Is she devastated when she doesn’t get an A on that test, 1st place in that competition, or receives correction from you? She may be afraid of disappointing you or others she is around and not measuring up to everyone's expectations!
Pray for Your Daughter
After you have thought through each of those questions, pray for your daughter! Pray for her to be convicted of the sin in her life. Then, ask the Lord for wisdom, gentleness and the eyes to see what your daughters' needs are as you talk to her about lying.
After praying, lovingly & graciously confront your daughter about her lying habit. Here are some talking points you may find helpful.
- First, ask your daughter how her heart is. Comfort her and remind her of her worth and identity in Christ.
- Tell her that you are concerned about her lying habit. Explain what the Bible says about lying and talk about how all of us should be doing our best to honor God in all that we do.
- Talk about the impact lying has on her friendships and relationships. Lying destroys trust! If it is helpful, read her the story about the Boy Who Cried Wolf.
- Ask her if she knows why she has been lying and let her know that you are there for her to talk to.
- Pray with her and ask God to help both of you to speak the truth in love.
Hopefully, these tips will help you help your daughter stop crying wolf and start speaking Truth!
If you’d like even more help talking to your daughter about the power of her words, then check out these resources!
The Power of Words is a bonus tool we’ve shipped with this month’s True Girl Subscription to help moms with their words as they train their daughter’s tongues!
Would you like a tool that helps your daughter remember to use her words carefully? Maybe something that reminds her every single day that words have power? This month we’re shipping The Kindness Box to all of our True Girl subscribers and it’s brimming with daily Truth about the power of words.
Learn more about the new True Girl Subscription
The True Girl subscription is your toolbox to teach her to love her Bible! Every month your inbox can be filled with a coaching video on important topics and tools to draw your daughter into the Word. And our ultimate option includes a box delivered right to your door! We selected age-appropriate, Christ-centered themes for each box and fill them with ALL-NEW items that build the habits of spiritual disciplines. Here’s what one mom is saying:
"The daily devo book is so easy to use, and gets my daughter curious and more excited about God’s Word. It’s getting me in the Word!" -True Girl Mom